Fifa Wars: Revenge of the Sepp

Blatter overlooking the Jabulani ball for the 2010 World Cup. Photo: Denis Farrell

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away… football was managed and run by people whose interests were for the good of the game.

Nowadays, according to many experts, the sport is governed by greedy, corrupt and deceitful individuals who care nothing for football – only for themselves.

The story of Fifa may be a closed book to most people, but for those of you who love George Lucas‘ Star Wars there are striking similarities.

There is an old regime as the Old Republic and an oppressive new regime similar to the evil Galactic Empire.

The Old Republic

Although the Old Republic was in existence for a millennium, Fifa was founded more recently in 1904.

A Jedi order was established in the same way Fifa statutes were created to be honoured by presidents. At the head of the Jedi council was Master Yoda, whose role emulates former Fifa president Jules Rimet.

Master Yoda of Star Wars in battle. Photo: idpsvbs

The Frenchman oversaw the first World Cup in 1930 and coined Fifa a ‘football family‘. He is the longest-serving Fifa president at 33 years – much like 900-year-old Yoda being the oldest Jedi.

Qui-Gon Jinn, played by Liam Nesson, is a suitable character for ex-Fifa chief Arthur Drewry.

He fought for the British FAs readmission to Fifa in 1946, just as Qui-Gon fought for the right to train young Anakin to be a Jedi knight.

While Drewry’s successor Sir Stanley Rous may not be an exact fit to Samuel L Jackson’s part as Master Windu, he had a ‘powerful‘ impact as Fifa president.

The Englishman was responsible for bringing football home to England with the World Cup in 1966.

And then there was Obi-Wan Kenobi. The closest any Fifa official comes to filling this role is former vice-president Lennart Johansson.

Like Obi-Wan, the Swede too was a gallant defender of democracy but helpless in stopping the dark forces waged against him.

The Dark Side

Although the ‘beautiful’ game means so much to so many people, it is also a vehicle for acquiring power. The man who exploited this was Dr. Joao Havelange – the Emperor.

The Emperor from Star Wars. Photo: snapper31

Many Third World nations in Fifa were frustrated at the then conservative approach of the old regime. They wanted more recognition and started a separatist movement like in the film.

Havelange played on this frustration by offering impatient delegates a ‘quick and easy path‘ through inducements. This enabled him to ‘over-throw’ Rous for the presidency in 1974.

He needed the help of German businessman Horst Dassler to keep his promises. “Count Dooku” paid huge bribes to Havelange for World Cup TV and sponsorship rights, which were used to finance the new Fifa empire.

Emperor Havelange was an authoritarian ruler of football. He supported corrupt regimes like the mafia in his native Brazil and offered benefits to national officials like then British PM Tony Blair to control the game.

Some Fifa members described him as ‘the dictator‘. One of these was former Fifa media director Guido Tognoni:

“He [Havelange] had the power to do everything that he wanted.” (Guido Tognoni,1996)

The Brazilian ran Fifa like a private enterprise. He treated the organisation as if he owned it and, like the Emperor, instilled fear in those who served him.

To ensure his reign of terror continued after he stepped down, Havelange chose then Fifa general secretary Sepp Blatter as his apprentice Darth Vader.

Havelange helped Blatter defeat Johansson for the presidency in 1998. After being accused by reporters like Andrew Jennings of rigging the election vote, Darth Blatter struck back:

“Show me my accusers. It might become uncomfortable for anyone whose name you mention.” (Sepp Blatter, May 1998)

Darth Vader from Star Wars. Photo: Official Star Wars Blog

Like Vader, Blatter oppressed all opposition by removing anyone who threatened him and replaced them with his own candidates. For example, he sacked general secretary Michel Zen-Ruffinen for Urs Linsi.

The Swiss also suppressed freedom of speech by banning Jennings from Fifa events and refuses to answer questions about corruption.

Behind him is a 24-man executive committee which frequently abuses Fifa’s Ethics Code, according to former member John McBeth:

“There are people in that [Fifa] executive committee I wouldn’t trust as far as I could throw.” (John McBeth, 2007)

On this committee is Jack Warner as the cash-collecting Bounty Hunter. The Caribbean official makes a rich living from diverting Fifa money for football into his own pocket.

Also present is Chuck Blazer as gambler Jabba the Hutt.

The American owned an online betting business which tried to make profits on the 2002 World Cup and was branded a liar by the judge in the MasterCard case (see p6). 

Other ‘agents of evil‘ at Fifa include Brazilian Football president Richardo Teixeira, who was deemed corrupt by a parliamentary inquiry, and Nicholas Leoz who, among others, took bribes from Dassler.

A New Hope?

Fifa is still in dark times, but there is a growing resistance similar to the rebellion in Star Wars.

Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia and Han Solo from Star Wars. Photo: Jonah Sparks

With there being no Luke Skywalker figure in Fifa yet, the man leading this movement is Andrew Jennings as the unlikely hero Han Solo.

Jennings gets caught up in the struggle as Solo does and becomes a leader by exposing corruption in Fifa.

His associates are writers Jens Weinreich (Chewbacca), David Yallop and Alan Tomlinson (Ewoks) who have published works on Fifa scandal.

Jennings also has an ally in former Fifa general secretary Zen-Ruffinen as Lando Calrissian.

Despite serving Blatter, Zen-Ruffinen like Lando came good when he produced a 23-page dossier in 2002 condemning the president’s mismanagement of Fifa finances:

“I have decided to stand up for the good of the game. Fifa is run like a dictatorship. It has been reduced to the Blatter organisation under the name of Fifa.” (Michel Zen-Ruffinen, May 2002)

The absence of female characters, namely Padme and Princess Leia from Star Wars, is due to Fifa’s patriarchal system. Also droids C-3PO and R2-D2 are excluded too as Fifa oppose technology.

But there is new hope with the Fifa elections next year. Blatter, at 74-years-old and with waning support, is unlikely to remain which leaves room for change.

While his humanitarian work with groups like UNICEF suggests there is ‘some good‘ in him, Blatter’s history of stealing monies from football indicate it is too late to save him.

What remains to be seen is whether the next Fifa chief will be a Luke Skywalker, who will restore credibility, or an Anakin Skywalker, who will succumb to the dark side.